Power and Control
Power and control are at the centre of many forms of abuse. This section covers the patterns, behaviours, and dynamics that people experience when someone uses power to dominate, manipulate, or harm them – and how therapy can help.
Understanding Power and Control
Abuse is not always physical. At its core, most forms of abuse involve one person using power and control over another. This can happen in intimate relationships, families, workplaces, and institutions. The patterns are often subtle, difficult to name, and deeply confusing for the person experiencing them.
I specialise in working with clients who have been affected by these dynamics. Whether you are currently in an abusive situation, have recently left one, or are still making sense of something that happened years ago, therapy can provide a safe space to understand what happened and begin to recover.
What This Section Covers
This area of the site covers five specific topics, each with its own dedicated page:
- Coercive Control – the pattern of controlling, threatening, and manipulating behaviour used to dominate a partner or family member. Coercive Control
- Gender-Based Violence – violence directed at someone because of their gender, including domestic abuse, sexual violence, and harassment. Gender-Based Violence
- Stalking – persistent, unwanted behaviour that causes fear, distress, or harm. Stalking
- DARVO – Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender – a manipulation tactic used by abusers to avoid accountability. DARVO
- Legal Abuse and NDAs – the misuse of legal processes and non-disclosure agreements to silence, control, or punish victims. Legal Abuse, NDAs, and SLAPPs
These topics overlap in practice. Many clients experience more than one form of abuse simultaneously. The pages are separated to give each topic the depth it deserves, but the therapeutic work often addresses them together.
How Therapy Helps
If you have experienced power and control dynamics, therapy can help you:
- Name what happened and make sense of confusing experiences
- Understand how abuse affects your thoughts, feelings, and relationships
- Rebuild your sense of self and autonomy
- Develop safety awareness without living in constant fear
- Process trauma at a pace that feels safe
I work as an integrative psychotherapist, drawing on person-centred, psychodynamic, and transactional analysis approaches. All sessions are held online via a secure video platform, making support accessible from anywhere in the UK. Online Therapy UK
Scope and Boundaries
This practice does not offer mediation, legal advice, or advocacy services. I do not work with perpetrators of abuse in a therapeutic capacity. I am not a crisis service. If you are in immediate danger, please contact emergency services or the National Domestic Abuse Helpline. For more information, see the Crisis and Emergency Guidance page.
Crisis and Emergency Support
If you are in immediate danger, contact emergency services by calling 999. Samaritans: 116 123 (24 hours, free). National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0808 2000 247 (24 hours, free). Crisis and Emergency Guidance
What is the power and control model?
The power and control model describes the pattern of behaviours used by an abusive person to maintain dominance over another. It goes beyond physical violence to include emotional abuse, isolation, financial control, threats, intimidation, and manipulation. The model was originally developed by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project in Duluth, Minnesota, and is widely used in understanding domestic abuse.
Can therapy help if I am still in an abusive situation?
Yes. Therapy can be valuable even if you are still in a difficult situation. It can help you understand what is happening, make sense of your feelings, develop safety awareness, and explore your options – at your own pace and without pressure. Your safety is always the priority.
How do I know if what I experienced was abuse?
Many people struggle to name their experience as abuse, especially when it did not involve physical violence. If someone consistently used power and control to dominate, manipulate, or undermine you, that is a form of abuse. Therapy can help you make sense of your experience and understand the impact it has had.
Do you work with perpetrators of abuse?
I work only with people who have experienced abuse. I do not offer therapy to perpetrators of abuse.
Is online therapy safe for people in abusive situations?
Safety is considered carefully. If you are concerned about privacy or safety when attending online sessions, we can discuss practical measures to help you attend safely. If your situation means online therapy is not safe, I can help you explore alternative options.
What is coercive control?
Coercive control is a pattern of behaviour that seeks to take away a person's liberty, autonomy and sense of self. It can include intimidation, isolation, surveillance, humiliation, financial control and threats. Since 2015, coercive control has been a criminal offence in England and Wales, and the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 further strengthened recognition of these patterns. Its effects can be profound and long-lasting.
If you have been affected by power and control dynamics and would like to explore therapy, I offer a short, free introductory call. There is no obligation.
Can therapy help after leaving a controlling relationship?
Yes. Leaving a controlling relationship is often just the beginning of recovery. The psychological effects - such as self-doubt, hypervigilance, difficulty trusting others, and a diminished sense of self - can persist long after the relationship ends. Therapy provides a safe, confidential space to make sense of what happened, rebuild your identity and develop a stronger sense of your own worth and boundaries.
How do you work with people affected by abuse?
I work with people who have experienced abuse, not those who have perpetrated it. My approach is trauma-informed, which means I work at your pace and prioritise your safety and sense of control within our sessions. We explore the impact of what you have been through, the patterns it may have created, and how to move forward. There is no pressure to share anything before you are ready.
I am not sure what I experienced counts as abuse - can I still come to therapy?
Absolutely. Many people who have experienced coercive control or psychological abuse question whether their experience was serious enough to warrant support. You do not need a label or a diagnosis to come to therapy. If something has caused you distress or is affecting how you live your life, that is reason enough. We can explore your experience together in a safe, non-judgemental space.