Signs You're Being Stalked: What It Is and When to Get Help

By Rochelle Marashi, MA, MBACP (BACP registration 416139) - Reviewed on 29 October 2026

Short answer: Signs you're being stalked include repeated unwanted contact, someone turning up where you are, being followed or watched, and your accounts or devices being monitored. Stalking is a pattern of fixated, obsessive, unwanted and repeated behaviour that makes you feel frightened or distressed, and it is a crime across the UK. If you feel unsafe, it is right to get help early, even if you are not sure it "counts".

If you are in danger right now, call 999. If you cannot speak, call 999 and press 55 when prompted (Silent Solution). The National Stalking Helpline (England and Wales) is on 0808 802 0300. Samaritans are available 24 hours a day on 116 123. Therapy is not an emergency service.

Key facts

• Stalking is a pattern, not a one-off: fixated, obsessive, unwanted and repeated (often called FOUR)
• It can happen online, in person, or both
• It is a criminal offence in England and Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland
• Keep a record of every incident, even small ones
• Support: police, specialist stalking services, and trauma-informed therapy

What is stalking?

Stalking is a pattern of unwanted behaviour directed at you that causes fear, alarm or distress. It can be carried out by an ex-partner, someone you know, or a stranger. A helpful way to remember it is FOUR: behaviour that is Fixated, Obsessive, Unwanted and Repeated.

What are the signs you're being stalked?

You might notice one or several of these:

• Repeated calls, messages or emails you have asked to stop
• Someone turning up at your home, work or places you go
• Being followed, or seeing the same person or car often
• Gifts, letters or items left for you
• Contact through friends, family, colleagues or new accounts
• Someone knowing where you are or what you have been doing
• Your social media, email or phone being accessed or monitored
• Threats, or damage to your property

If something feels wrong, trust that feeling.

What does online stalking look like?

Online stalking, sometimes called cyberstalking, can include monitoring your social media, creating fake accounts to contact you, tracking your location through apps or devices, posting about you, or accessing your accounts. It is taken just as seriously as stalking in person.

Am I overreacting if I feel scared?

No. Feeling frightened, watchful or unable to relax is a normal response to being targeted. Many people doubt themselves at first, especially if each incident seems small on its own. It is the pattern that matters. My guide on how stalking affects the nervous system explains why your body may feel constantly on alert.

What should I do if I think I'm being stalked?

• Keep a record. Note dates, times, places and what happened. Save messages and screenshots.
• Do not engage. Responding can sometimes encourage further contact.
• Tell people you trust. Let them know what is happening.
• Check your devices. Review account security, passwords and location sharing.
• Contact the police or a specialist service. You do not need to wait until it gets worse.

Is stalking a crime in the UK?

Yes, in all parts of the UK, but the laws differ by nation:

• England and Wales: Stalking offences are in the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 (sections 2A and 4A). Stalking Protection Orders were introduced by the Stalking Protection Act 2019.
• Scotland: Stalking is an offence under section 39 of the Criminal Justice and Licensing (Scotland) Act 2010.
• Northern Ireland: The Protection from Stalking Act (Northern Ireland) 2022 created a stalking offence and Stalking Protection Orders.

I am a psychotherapist, not a lawyer, and I do not give legal advice. For legal guidance, please speak to the police, a solicitor or a specialist stalking service.

When should I get help for the emotional impact of stalking?

Any time it is affecting you. Stalking can lead to anxiety, poor sleep, hypervigilance, low mood and difficulty trusting others, both during and long after it has stopped. Therapy gives you a confidential space to make sense of what is happening and feel steadier. You can read about my approach on my therapy for stalking victims UK page, and about longer term effects in trauma therapy after stalking.

How do I start online therapy in the UK?

1. Book a free 15-minute introductory call. Ask questions and see whether working together feels right.
2. Arrange your first session. Sessions are 50 minutes on Google Meet and cost £70, paid by bank transfer.
3. Meet regularly. Some people want a short block of sessions, others prefer longer term work.

Online sessions mean you do not need to travel to a fixed address at a regular time. Full details are on my online therapy UK page.

If any of this felt familiar

You do not need to decide anything today, or have the words for it yet. If you would like to talk with a therapist who works with stalking, coercive control and abuse, I offer a short, free introductory call so you can find the right fit. No obligation to continue.

Contact me to ask about a 15-minute call, or read more about how online therapy works.